Friday, June 5, 2009

This is your ... errr...captain

I'm writing this from Dubai airport. Took a flight here on the splendid Emirates airlines. For roughly the price of an ipod, I got pampered by the stewardess (intrguingly named 'Dragana'), got to watch two and a half movies on a tilting lcd screen, and developed double vision thanks to the copious Dewars Whisky plied by the said Dragana. But the thing that prompted me to write this post is the way pilots talk to us passengers when the plane is - how shall I put it - irrevocably in the air. Here's what he said ....."Good evening. This is your captain speaking from the flight deck. We are flying to..(pause)...err...(longer pause, sound of papers being shuffled)...Dubai on (long pause) Emirates(implied question mark) at ..errrr.....35000 feet... " and so on. My question is, what the f**k is the pilot smoking if he has to struggle to remember the port of call? But Dragana swings by again with that million dollar smile - and what a dazzler that is, 97% teeth and 3% miscellaneous facial features - accompanied, this time, by some kind of Irish whiskey and I revert to the double vision problem.

If you've guessed that I am worried about the state of international air travel, you wouldn't be far off the mark. But if you're speculating that I might have had more of the said whiskey in the said airport, you would be fairly accurate.

Ciao, and be in touch.

17 comments:

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

I too have been in these flights where the flight attendant is struggling to remember the destination. A little less scary than the pilot hesitating, of course.

Btw, Dewars??? What happened to Macallan?

Gradwolf said...

They won't serve RC, would they? :p

Rada said...

Was the charming Dragana in the cockpit when the captain was having his temporary speech impairment?

That would explain a lot of things, I guess! ;-)

Pitu said...

Oh dear! You'll be in trouble with the missus once u land.

Sowmya Srikrishnan said...

You thought of the missus when the Dragana smiled at you...no?

Cynic in Wonderland said...

..and i was just about the same question Rada did.

Also I hate planes. So alcoholic euphoria seems to be as happy a way of traveling as any.

Anna Bond said...

They should keep some raja whiskey on planes, if you ask me.

flowergirl said...

Maybe he was not so fluent in english, the capt I mean?!

What freaks me out is the hostess-in-charge announcing grnadly that the crew speaks, Polish, Czech, Tagalog and possibly an exotic dialect of Mongolina....for a Chennai-Dubai flight! Pray what use is that to any of us? And then they wonder why Indians dont follow the instructions...well they need to understand it first is it not?

mentalie said...

this is uncanny, but i was on a jet flight just last week and exactly the same thing happened to me. except the captain said "err...mumbai". maybe it was the same man...or the same dope ;p
there was no dragana playing santa claus with a whisky bottle though. i just got nimbu paani :(

Chethana said...

World would be a simpler place if things worked Bangalore local bus - style. All you had to do was to walk up to the Pilot and yell names at his mother. Or you could share a part of your Whiskey with him.

Idling in Top Gear said...

Emirates is my favorite airline. Their seats are comfortable, their food is good, and their stewardesses are delish! They seem to somehow prefer Whites more than any other nationality for in-flight crew though. Makes it kind of hard for the Chennai-Dubai-Abu Dhabi-Bahrain sector, coz a lot of passengers on this route are non-English-knowing laborers going to the Gulf.

Princess Fiona said...

As the wise men once said...when in doubt..alcohol makes it all right! :)

Amrita said...

Hey, these days if they don't dump you in the middle of a water body, be happy and take it.

Another Kiran In NYC said...

Ooooh I like em captains. But then I was always a sucker for a man in uniform. So Dragana ply me with liqor and captain take me away... and please forget your destination. But with my kind of luck we would probably land up in Sudan instead of some tropical isle... the captain and me.

Oh well... a middle aged woman can atleast dream! Nahi?

Anand Ramachandran's Evil Twin said...

Dude. You really must write a book. So that I can pirate a copy and laugh non-stop for about a week.

le embrouille blogueur said...

So true ...happens all the time ...like they missed the memo on where they are supposed to fly to !!

Anonymous said...

I was just on an Emirates flight to Sydney and was also pampered by the beautiful Dragana from Serbia -- blonde hair, natural smile, the nicest arms and legs I've seen, and very friendly. IF would sure like to fly again when she is on board.